SoulTending.com

By Adyashanti

Life moves, undulates, breathes in and out, contracts and expands.  This is its nature.  The nature of what is.  Whatever is, is on the move.  Nothing remains the same for very long.  The mind wants everything to stop so that it can get its foothold, find its position, so it can figure out how to control life.  When this doesn’t work, the mind begins to seek the changeless, the eternal, something that doesn’t move.  But the changeless is also moving and changing.  The eternal is living and dying.  The formless is form.  The form is formless.  This is nothing the mind could ever have imagined… Just for a moment, take your hands off the steering wheel.  This is it right now!  Just jump in….God is always dancing….always.”

On the art of happiness.

Out of a false understanding I thought that in order to fit in, be accepted and loveable I had to suffer and be miserable. If I am well and happy, i won’t fit in and I will draw envy and resentment towards myself. It seemed safer to take my share of hurt and misery and dwell in it. Commiserating with others gave a sense of camaraderie. I was proud to do my part in shouldering the heavy cross of humanity.

Looking at my behavior now, I can see that these are notions of a patriarchal theology gone haywire. Leading people by instilling fear so that they are docile. What are saints other than people selfishly persuing the connection with God and the goodness of life? But let’s make it simple and not take on world religions and their doctrines.

I know how to be in this world gracefully. If I look at the different options before making a decision I have the ability to feel where my heart contracts and where it soars. It is my duty to persue happiness. Noone else can do this job for me. Only I have the capability to feel within, to experience the inner knowing and draw conclusions. It is a choice to love myself fully. It is a choice to do those things that open the heart, that make it easier to breathe, that create space within my physicality.

If left to his own devices a human being who has his needs fulfilled, will always want to contribute to the wellbeing of others. Humans are emphatic beings. If someone is hurting the natural response is to help alleviate that pain. There is a goodness inherent in people that wants to come out and shine. It increases self-esteem to do what needs to be done in a way that benefits the whole.

So I am making the shift. Armed with more knowledge I choose to stop suffering and the perpetuation of hurt. I start within, with my thoughts, becoming mindful of how the thoughts create emotions and physical reactions. I become aware of the mechanicalness of thinking, the same old tracks repeating themselves and making deeper grooves.

Older people who have never had the chance to learn to watch their thoughts and realize their insignificance, tend to be grumpier and more unhappy as the days go by. There are those lucky few, who having mastered an independent sense of reality that is not attached to the whimsy of thought, have found the key to youthfullness. They are able to enjoy and even appreciate whatever life dishes out and do their duties with a smile. This is where I am going for.

I am making a radical shift away from the legacy of fear and suffering to a life lived with appreciation and aw. I start by nourishing myself deeply on all levels, mindful of my actions. Radiating abundant health and wellbeing contributes positively to the world.

The only place where your

dream becomes impossible

is in your own thinking.

Robert H. Schuller

It does not mean

to be in a place

where there is

no noise, trouble or hard work.

It means to be

in the midst of those things

and still be calm

in your heart.

Unknown

By Petra Prensky

Thank you for being alive.
Thank you for having your unique struggles.
Thank you for teaching me to always come back to myself.
Thank you for the inadequacy I sometimes feel.
Thank you for freeing me from being your mate.
Thank you for daring to step out into the world.
Thank you for your companionship and dependability.
I set you free, not because I don’t need you anymore,
But because it is the best for both of us.
I set you free because that is real love.
I set you free because attachment creates burden.
I set you free because that is all I know to do.
I set you free so that we both have a chance to soar.
I set you free so that we can be friends.
I set you free so that we experience the spontaneous flow of life again.

The ego is suffering. I am more than the ego. If the ego is suffering that does not mean that I am suffering as well. The ego can be very convincing though. Today, I felt sad and just a bit off. The mind indulged in the thinking of what this might all be about, what I need to do about it and how I can change it. Yet when I looked into the mirror in the bathroom I was surprised to see a beautiful, smiling even happy looking face. I am more than my thoughts. The thoughts might hang on to how things ought to be, when the other parts of the self are enjoying the way things are.
There is an innate wisdom in the body. If given the opportunity it will always find its way back to an equilibrium. The body communicates through sensations. Listening to them helps to get out of the thinking patterns. It brings us back to the present moment, to that which is going on right now. Listening to the sensations and reactions of the body to thoughts and outside influences helps to live an embodied life. There are essentially only two responses; we are either drawn towards something or away from it. Becoming aware of the muscle reaction helps us distinguish very clearly what is beneficial for our system and what is detrimental.
If we are willing to listen to the body’s reaction on this level of awareness, the ego will have a harder time suffering. The mind has received a new job: proprioception, the feeling and sensing within. Instead of being pre-occupied with circular thoughts, the brain is actively engaged in listening and being in communication with the body’s internal systems. This leads to wiser choices, a more authentic presence and an overall happier and healthier outlook on life.

“Living is a form of not being sure,
not knowing what next or how.
The moment you know how,
you begin to die a little.”

By Agnes De Mille

You are not stuck where you are

unless you decide to be…

Wayne Dyer

*”How without body, intellect, emotion and will, the ego, can anyone act in this world. The philosophical ideal is a fully developed, mastered, and richly rounded ego.”

By Marty Herling

The ego is not my enemy, has been my constant. The only friend I could find, in the lonely dark inexplicable days of my childhood, when I was under a constant barrage of mixed messages, anger coming suddenly from my gods. It was all I could do, but to stay alive, trying to make sense of my world, not to rock the boat to keep the love of my parents.

The ego has been our refuge from the storm, the only voice we could hear. It is not an alien residing in my body. It is a creation of myself to hold me safe in the storms of confusion. Just as I am not the mind, not the body, not the senses the ego is my tool. Let me get to know this tool, not to shun it, it is part of the whole of us. The gaining of self love (non criticism)  will ease the ego into its proper place in your mind as an assistant. You can then release your unconscious through deep listening. I am the whole. I can only be goodness because I am willing and able to be myself.

This is the order of Paramesvara. **”When you are filled with devotion to the Lord, you are the enlightened ego, that is, there is more Isvara (God) and less of yourself and so your fame (not popularity) increases and you become a source of inspiration to others. When any glory is gained by anyone, only Isvara should be acknowledged for it.”

*”The highest goal in the quest is not illumination gained by the destruction of the ego but rather by perfection of the ego. The ego must be transformed to win truth and find reality. In the end it must surrender itself. The ego’s humility is a pretentious cloak for secret vanity. Surrender the selfish one. The ego must be brought to subjugation to the highest power. It is still there, but is put into its proper place. The ego is the personal self. We need a change in attitude towards the personal self. Then the tyranny of the ego will vanish.”

The ego is a reflection of our higher self, our true self. If we can put the ego into the correct alignment, in submission to the higher self, it would not be a hindrance to the illuminated life, a servant and not a master. We want a fully developed mastered and richly rounded ego acting as a channel for the inspiration and guidance of the higher self. What needs to be overcome is not the entity “ego” but the function of egoism. We need to remove error and establish truth, not merely of the intellect alone, but also of the emotions and the will.

If we analyze the ego, we find it to be a collection of past memories retained from experience and future hopes or fears, which anticipate experience. In fact it never really exists in the NOW, but only seems to. This means it is a phantom without substance, a false idea.

The ego must adjust to two things, to the common welfare and to the source of its own being.

*   Paul Brunton  “Perspectives”
** Swami Dyananda “ Vishnusahasranama, Translation and Commentary”

An excerpt of the book “Soul Mates” by Thomas Moore

A soulful relationship offers two difficult challenges: one, to come to know oneself – the ancient oracle of Apollo; and two, to get to know the deep, often subtle richness in the soul of the other. As you get to know the other deeply, you will discover much about yourself. Especially in moments of conflict and maybe even despair, being open to the demands of a relationship can provide an extraordinary opportunity for self-knowledge. It provides an occasion to glimpse your own soul and notice its longings and its fears. And as you get to know yourself, you can be more accepting and understanding of the other’s depth of soul.
It isn’t easy to expose your soul to another, to risk such vulnerability, hoping that the other person will be able to tolerate your own irrationality. It may also be difficult, no matter how open-minded you are, to be receptive as another reveals her soul to you. Yet this mutual vulnerability is one of the great gifts of love: giving the other sufficient emotional space in which to live and express her soul, with its reasonable and unreasonable ways, and then to risk revealing your own soul, complete with its own absurdities.
The idea of a soulful relationship is not a sentimental one, nor is it easy to put into practice. The courage required to open one’s soul to express itself or to receive another is infinitely more demanding than the effort we put into avoidance of intimacy. The stretching of the soul is like the painful opening of the body in birth. It is so painful in the doing that we often will attempt to avoid it, even though such opening is ultimately full of pleasure and reward.
What I am suggesting about intimacy in relationship here is a particular aspect of the general need to respect the soul’s wide range of mood, fantasy, emotion, and behavior. Most of us contain ourselves fairly well, but eventually some type of irrationality may come to the surface. We all have skeletons in our closets and monsters in our hearts. It can be taken as an axiom: the person who displays his or her sanity and morality most dramatically is likely to be the very person who finds it difficult to be sane and moral.
Being in a soulful relationship is to some extent frightening because by nature such a relationship asks that we show our soul, complete with its fears and follies. In “In Praise of Folly”, the Renaissance humanist Erasmus says that it is precisely in their foolishness that people can become friends and intimates. “For that the greatest part of mankind are fools,… and friendship, you know, is seldom made but amongst equals.” The soul, as our dreams reveal, is not terribly lofty. We may present a high-minded image to the world, but the soul finds its fertility in its irrationalities. Maybe this is a hint as to why great artists appear mad, or at least eccentric, and why, in times of strong emotion and difficult decision-making, we so often act foolishly. More than one person in therapy has confessed to me that the most difficult part of an intense episode of jealousy was the fear of being made a fool by their partner – a sign to me that soul was trying hard to enter their lives in the dress of the fool.
Oddly, then, the most intimate relationships may be the very ones that appear foolish. The couple madly in love are “fools for love”. The most unpredictable couplings sometimes make the best marriages. A person who appears quite ordered and logical at work may engage in outrageously irrational behavior at home. Some of the most tightly knit families don’t hide their battles and jealousies. In short, when a relationship is soulful, the soul’s irrationality will be revealed for all to see.